danielluu:

sometimes I type in facebook.com on the address bar only to realize that I’m already on facebook.

what about the times where you search for “ading” or “kuya” or “ate” hahah

makelarsenfamous:

dropaheartbreakaname:

-sweetcaroline:

thatisillogical:

lexisexi:

saaamcee:

blahpoint:

aishiterutempura:colorfulraindrops:istalkanchovies:namanbarabwa:

stupidityandbeyond:keylastic:marshaudrey:ktelovesuju:electricpop:

ilusyonadangpilipina:cupcakesandlollipops: followandreblog: thecheshirecat: 

quotewhore: newfilosofee: myfamouslastword:

Who decided Debbie was such a downer?

I’m not sure but what I do know is that being around them is not fun. Want to be some sort of Debbie? Go grab a Little Debbie Snack and get your Debbie fix, just don’t bring down the rest of the world.

I understand that there are times where it’s completely understandable to initially feel morose or crestfallen, but at some point we need to pick ourselves up. Our friends will no doubt support us through these tough times, but there is a limit. And I’m not talking about cases where something legitimately tragic has happened and a person is mourning, I’m talking about people who are pessimistic. The people who make every minute thing, an epic problem. For instance, when someone wakes up and one or two minor events occur and seem to make the person believe they’re having a “bad day.” All of a sudden every small occurrence throughout the day “adds on” when if it were to happen on a “good day,” it would be no big deal or something overlooked. I understand we can get into a negative mentality, but I believe that the best way to get through life is to fight these tendencies. Focus on what you DO have and appreciate it even more during these moments. If you’re constantly venting on a daily basis about something that bothers you, I hope you realize you have good friends listening to your tired nonsense. Appreciate that they persistently sit there, actively listening to something they’ve heard over and over again.

When life continues to give you dirt, look at the bright side, the moment you get seeds you’ll be able to grow a vast garden that can become something inexplicably vibrant. Keeping a positive, optimistic view (or at least being an optimistic realist) and being adaptive, will improve ones outlook on life and happiness. Scrutinize a situation, not every single one, but the big ones that seem to have gone in a direction opposite of what you would have hoped. And remember any fraction of it that will make you improve in the future. Dwelling on the past without an adaptive action does not cultivate a better future. So if you’re going to be a Debbie Downer, go for the carbs and enjoy some comfort food to achieve solace.

Perseverance is an admirable trait. Those who are diligent aim high and often times reach ambitious goals. The greatest flaw however, is the inability to let go. Giving up and quitting have a negative connotation, and it is understandable. It’s associated with individuals who are lazy and have a particular distaste for hardships.

I’m deciding to leave a program and start back at square one or press on miserably to finish what I’ve started . It’s a program I am not entirely interested in and in all honesty, the longer I’m in it the more I feel it’s a waste of my time. So what’s keeping me from leaving? Perseverance. I don’t give up easily and I rarely stop something once I’ve started, but at some point, it can be a naive ideal. I’ve been told, it’s okay to make mistakes and take big risks because I’m young. And by that, it’s not to translate as being reckless, but rather, stop for a second and think about what you want and if you’re happy. We come across opportunities that help us climb the ladder, but sometimes, the amount of unhappiness it causes from the gain in the end needs to be weighed. I’ve started one path and I’ve learned it’s not one I want to take. And though I will feel slightly ashamed for not following through, I’ve taken a lot from it. I am certain it’s a career option I do not want to pursue, I did not waste an entire year in the program nor did I spend as much money as I would have through other universities. So though I’m “giving up” I am confident that it was not a wasted experience.

A quote my sister shared with me seemed appropriate:

“Sometimes giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go.”

- Author Unknown

My next decision may alter my future opportunities. It feels as if I’ve been placed back in square one of post graduation life. Although I am uncertain of the effects of my choice, I won’t let any miscalculation affect my progress. There will always be detours in life, but in the scheme of things, the time it takes to reach the destination is irrelevant.

Should I continue with my current program or head in a new direction? There are many things to consider, but this time around something new is a factor. I’ve gone through most of my life dealing with everything. Often times I’ve worked  quietly while people complained (that’s not to say I didn’t complain every now and again), but overall I’ve accepted that there were certain obstacles that had to be overcome simply because it was part of the system. Now, when seeking advice from family, they asked if I was happy. They said it should be a very important factor in the decision making process. I thought it was funny because I don’t study, sacrifice or continue to pursue education because it makes me happy…..but rather because it’s a means to an end. It didn’t occur to me that my means should also bring me the same joy that reaching the finish line would. 

Are “signs” orchestrated by omnipotent beings? 

Or are they simply illusions of the mind which provide an answer to a conundrum? 

I believe we need to make a decision ourselves despite what fate, existent or nonexistent, has in store.

Make a decision, follow through whole heartedly and prepare for the consequences.

Have no regrets for what has passed, for the moment to learn from it still lies ahead.

I am the type of person who definitely does not like to procrastinate nor waste time. I am about efficiency and preparation. I know, a pain in the you know what. However, today I came across an instance that really touched me in a somewhat tender spot. I have a habit of prioritizing school in front of most things, unless a friend obviously needs me then I have no problem putting school on hold. But if it came down to going out and studying for an upcoming exam, I sacrifice my desires and thereby somewhat upset my ID. Today I took an exam which halfway through I began to become frustrated with. I spent the entire weekend preparing when I simply could have studied the night before and done just as well. As a result, I passed on an opportunity to spend a day with friends whom I dearly miss seeing on a daily basis, one of which recently moved home in a different city. It became more apparent than ever that sometimes, you need to sacrifice school even if it’ll come back to bite you. At the end of the day, you may have the grades but when times are rough, it’s your friends that will keep you pressing forward.

Since a day is categorized as “good” or “bad” based upon the individual’s feelings and personal outlook on life, I chose to enjoy the fact my exam was over. I spent the night in the company of some friends watching a movie, some television, relaxing and having some good conversations. We conversed about everything from movies to politics to video games. It truly felt like the weekend was already here . I was simply and utterly content with life. It may have been the realization that an impending change is inevitably coming or it may be that I was looking forward to a legit break (more or less) from school. Either way, although the night was seemingly ordinary from the outside, from the inside it was perfect.

Time is flowing through my fingers and any grain of sand I can hold onto, I will.

Of all the dreams I had last night, the very last one impacted me the most. For coherency purposes I will not provide other details and things that occurred between the main “plot” so to speak. I was at a mental institute/retirement esque establishment, but I was there as an actor. The scene included me and an elderly woman who was portraying my mother. We were outside and I was standing while she was eating. She was ranting on and on about who knows what and eventually she began chiding me. I stood there smiling, understanding that this is what I had to put up with, but I was happy because I got to see my mother. I turn away for a second and suddenly she’s sitting at a different table with her back towards me. I look at her and I suppose she felt my gaze because she turned around and all of a sudden, I broke. I could see on her face a mixture of emotions so powerful no words were needed. I could see anguish and remorse. It was as if she had seen through the fog and had a moment of absolute clarity. And I couldn’t take it. I was no longer an actor, but it truly felt as if I were her child and she was mother. I felt tears come down and all I could do was run to escape. So I ran across the yard, down the stairs and continued towards the edge of the property just trying to breathe and calm myself……it was such a powerful moment I didn’t know what to make of it.

We’re all human and we connect with each other through experiences and most importantly, emotions. It’s an amazing thing to not have to say a single word, and yet know exactly how someone feels and get the gist of what they want to say. Actions may speak louder than words, but I think our emotions say it better. Your actions are a result of your emotions. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is not something to be condemned, but admired. It means we are strong enough to show our heart to the world and not be scared of the consequences.

Take an emotional risk and never lose infinite hope that the next time will be different. The larger the risk the greater the return. Pain may be the result, but so is happiness. Any pain you endure will make life seem that much sweeter.

Today was…..in a word…uplifting.

Although the bulk of the day was spent studying at Ading Ryan’s place, there was just something about today that made me feel…partially invigorated…I’ve begun to remember the happiness and serenity that comes along with something as simple as being in the same room with those you’re close to. We may have been intermittently productive, but the memories you make are worth the sacrifice. Life is worth more than just success, and as much as I know that, it seems that the deluge of academic information has forced out this common knowledge from my brain.

I miss the people I used to see so often at UCSD, but now I rarely do because of differing schedules as well as institutions, and these seemingly fleeting moments hold so much for me. In one day (there are videos on my facebook) I have laughed, smiled and genuinely felt revived. I know my relationships with my friends have changed drastically, and that is in big part due to my inability to consistently balance everything. However, I am a human being….a constant work in progress. 

I experienced, what felt like my first legit Pi day. Impatiently waiting with a slice of pie, strawberry ice cream, and chopsticks (yes chopsticks) for the clock to strike 3:14pm. Followed by Aliza’s scream due to the presence of a special guest whom we do not know from where he/she came (Pi the Lizard I). Onto ridiculous moments such as Tigs complaining about a CD not working when she inserted the disc upside down and her saying she “only sees one hole…..” Yes folks it is what you’re thinking. She was looking at the diagram for tampons…scented to be exact. In a nutshell….today was my much needed therapy. I was able to connect once again with my family while we’re all still down here. Time will never stop moving forward and neither should we, but that doesn’t mean we should always take the straight path. Take some detours and wallow in the present while it’s still here.

Who knew Pi was the answer to life.

As Spring comes around and the summer draws closer, I see the people around me are starting to talk about the future. They’re talking about hard choices they have to make, opportunities they have within grasp, as well as some that are still in the distance with the hope of finding it. As a recent graduate in this less than perfect economy, I remember what it was like for the first time to have no idea what to do. For a person who always had a plan and a back up plan, even those became vague and muddled. But you work through it, finding out more about yourself and even making compromises. Just make sure you’re not remaining stagnant for the fear of uncertainty.

It’s a hard choice, to continue to live in a place you’ve grown so much and become attached to or to move back to a place where you feel like you’re back in square one. A place where it seems as though you’re moving backwards. But even for those of us staying where we are, we all know things will be different come June 2010. At least for me, a concern is keeping up with everyone. We’re not all from the same city, let alone the same region of California, and things will get harder without the same immediate support system. But we have to decide what’s best for our own future, and not necessarily what we want for the present. We need to push forward to the next major change in our lives, and have faith that our friendships will outlast any distance or time that separates the people we love and care about.

With that being said I leave with this quote,

“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.” 
- W. Somerset Maugham